Six Years

Today is six years since you've been gone. It seems like a lifetime, but yet only a minute ago that you were taken from us.
I remember driving by the wreck site thinking that whoever was in that vehicle did not make it and saying a quick prayer for their family. Little did I know, I was praying for my own family and friends. I did not recognize that crushed up wreck of a truck, but it was yours. I think it was God's way of shielding me from knowing just what was to come over the next hour. I remember sitting on the couch right where I am now getting the phone call from my Daddy telling me that you had been in a wreck and realizing that it was your wreck that I had just passed. I remember calling Eddie and hearing him click back from the other line saying that you had just died, but not realizing that it was real. I prayed so hard for so long that it was just a bad dream and that you would be ok, because how would we live without you. I remember the look on Eddie's face when he walked in the door and I immediately knew you were gone. That was one of the worst moments of my life. Time stood still in the next week as we waited for them to release you to us so we could say goodbye one last time. Standing there in the back of the funeral home was agony. It took me 30 minutes to make myself walk to the front to tell you goodbye. I could not believe I was having to say goodbye to someone so young; and the kid with 9 lives of all people!
Thinking about the many things that have happened in the past 6 years that we have missed having you at is unbearable some days. I still get physically ill thinking about you being gone forever. You were my little brother in every sense but blood. I never thought I would have to live this life without having you in it. Bubba and J.R. are back together, but somehow it still seems empty without you here as the third "stooge" (so to speak). I can still hear the way you used to say "shiiitt" in that country accent you had. For months I waited to hear your truck pull up in the driveway and hear you come barreling through the house without knocking on the door; somedays I still do. I wish you could see William, you would have so much fun with him. Who knows, you might have had your own by now and I could be enjoying them too. I would to have loved to see yours and Bubba's kids grow up together.
You were taken from us way too early and it still makes me ill to know just the horror you went through in your last few hours. We love you more today than we did the day you died and miss you more than ever. Tonight, as we all got together and enjoyed each other's company, the missing piece was you. You will forever be in our hearts and be missed every minute of every day.
Love you always and forever.

In Loving Memory of Brad Smith

May 13, 1984 - January 16, 2003